The other day, I was home for lunch between a morning class and a meeting I had to be at later in the day, and the phone rang. Margaret was busy, so I answered it and was somewhat surprised when it was a friend of hers from Iowa. After speaking to her about it, I realized that this is a common occurrence. And it's not just this friend. Many friends from Iowa, Maryland (both places we have lived in the past) and even Florida (where we just moved to a couple months back) call our house on a regular basis, just to talk with my wife.
I began to wonder how it is that she is so much better at making, and more importantly, keeping friends than I am. Much of it is that she is a better friend than I am. She has no problem listening to others problems, sharing her life and the lives of our children with friends, and she will pick up the phone and call an old friend just to talk. Making them feel loved, remembered, and want to keep that relationship.
I, on the other hand, have never been bad at making friends. I have many friends (238 on Facebook as of this morning). Very few are close. Of the two that I consider close, I've talked to each of them once in the past 6 months. One, when we stayed at his house on the way to Florida from Iowa, and the other wasn't even really speaking with, but messaging back and forth during an online draft for the fantasy football team we play in together every year.
Part of this is caused by the fact that I am not comftorable listening to other peoples problems, especially when I had nothing to do with the cause of the problem, or have no ability to fix the problem. (My friends tend to be the same) Because of that, I'm extremely hesitant to share personal information and beliefs with others. I'm overly cautious about my personal beliefs offending someone. I've never apologized for what I believe, but I've also never thought it my place to insist someone else must believe what I do. I believe not only are my views justified, I believe they're right. I also believe that if you disagree with me, you're probably wrong. But that's okay. We can talk about it, share our views, and respect each other, maybe even more so after our conversation.
But I don't do this, talk about my beliefs that is. Much of that is because I have had very bad experiences with people respecting me when they disagree with me, so I just shut down, keep quiet, and keep them to myself. I realized this past week that most people may view that as not having strong, convicted beliefs. Therefore, a blog.
The point of this blog, is to give me a forum. A place to share my beliefs. I plan to cover a myriad of subjects. I will write about what's been on my mind. Some, if not most, will be controversial. I welcome comments. I welcome your thoughts on these subjects. And I definitely welcome disagreements, although as I said earlier, I will probably just think you're wrong, but that's okay.
